Lavender
by SheenaBelmont
Summary: They, the soldiers, couldn't afford to waste a moment. They needed to be sure about one thing: if they kept something to themselves maybe they wouldn't have the chance to say it aloud. Nanaba smelt of lavender, warmth and safety. ". I can't lose you Nana." One-shot.


_This is the first mikenana I ever wrote, three years ago. Back then I didn't even ship them as much as I do now. But their relationship is so unique, I've always loved them. I'm bringing this back to life because mikenana is strong in the second season. I hope you like it!_

 **Disclaimer:** Shingeki no Kyojin belong to Hajime Isayama, not me

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Mike Zacharius spurred on his horse, heading for the group of soldiers riding in the forward lines. As the expedition went back to the walls it made no sense to keep the formation. There weren't even enough soldiers. So they better gathered. He clenched his teeth looking at such scene – not many soldiers were returning. He set on his horse even more, in a hurry, as he wanted to reach them as soon as possible.

When he was close enough he started to scan the faces of the remaining soldiers. He examined the troop, looking for someone. He knew he should put all his senses around because they wouldn't be completely safe till they crossed the walls' gates. But Mike couldn't focus on anything till he found her.

(ooo)

It was her turn again to go in the carriage with the wounded. Although she was an expert fighter, Erwin decided she would accompany the hopeless in their way back. Some of them wouldn't live to reach the walls. Her presence was calming and comforting. She somehow gave them peace and serenity even when they were surrounded by monsters and their lives came to their end. Who would have thought such a fierce warrior in battlefield hid such a kind side.

Nanaba noticed one of the soldiers was troubled. She knew that response: it was the fear just before dying, when someone realized his life was coming to its end. She knelt in the opposite side of the carriage and took the soldier's hand, gently smiling. She didn't knew where she found the strength to calm them down. The only thing she knew for sure was that she could do it because he was not there.

She always followed the same routine. If they hadn't meet after the battle she first checked the carriage with the dead. They were wrapped in white fabric but she didn't need to see their faces to tell if he was there. She knew his height, his features, his scars, everything that let her to distinguish him from any other person. It was always the worst part. Nanaba had to hold the angst inside her chest as she felt her heart fiercely pounding against her ribs. Once she was sure he wasn't one of the dead, she went to the carriage with the wounded. It was a little less difficult but yet never pleasant. Some of them recovered while others suffered too serious wounds. Even if he wasn't there she couldn't relax because it could mean two things: that he was alive and well, far from her, or that he had fallen and his corpse couldn't be recovered maybe because it already rest inside a titan.

(ooo)

Mike could only feel relieved when he reached the carriage and he found Nanaba alongside the wounded. He rode by its side and reduced his pace to keep its same rhythm. He always rushed to find her – they had promised it long time ago so none of them had to deal with the doubt about the other being dead or alive more than needed.

Till that moment, he had never failed her. Nanaba feared one of these times he wouldn't come back but she buried that fear under kindness and all the optimism she could join. She wanted to enjoy as much as possible the moment of the reencounter. One day it could be the last.

"Nana! Are you ok?" he called out loud so she could hear him over the noise the horses' hooves made.

She answered with a nod and continued looking after the soldier. She couldn't leave him alone before he died, no one deserved that. Mike waited while she did her job, one she wasn't asked for but she seemed to impose to herself.

They had stayed a little behind the head of the troop, only the corpses' carriage rode after them. Then Mike knew they were coming before he saw them. He noticed the rotten smell from the dead bodies, the deep scent of the horses, the rancid one from his sweaty armpits. Then the unmistakable stench from the titans filled his nose; he could recognize it anywhere.

Indeed, a small but fast group of titans were chasing them. He looked horrified as his mates couldn't help but get rid of the corpses to slow down the titans' advance. It partially seemed to work since they were all eccentric class and weren't smart enough to dodge them. But it didn't stop them completely. Then he realized there were two of them next to the left side of the carriage. Mike cursed under his breath and made his way towards them but someone overtook him.

She was so fast he barely saw her. Nanaba jumped from the carriage thanks to her 3DGM and she directly faced one of the titans. There were no trees or buildings in that open field to support her so it was hard to fight there. So she hooked herself up the only available thing: the titan's body. Mike's heart skipped a beat when he understood that way she was going direct into his jaws. But he had underestimated Nanaba's abilities due to fear. In the last second she used inertia to unhook herself and stick the hooks again at top speed into the titan's nape. She twirled in the air and finish him off with a single cut. Before even touching down again, she latched onto the lifeless body of the first titan and repeated the operation with the remaining one.

She kind of sharply landed on the carriage from fairly height. Without a single moan she sheathed her blades and looked for the soldier she was taking care of before the attack. He looked back at her with glassy, cold eyes and she needed no more to know he was dead. She sadly closed his eyes while she mumbled a few consoling words.

Mike didn't move away from the carriage, riding next to it during the rest of the travel, which happened without more complications. He didn't mean to doubt Nanaba's skills – he had seen her in action countless times and she proved her value on every one. She wasn't one of the Scout Regiment veterans out of sheer chance alongside with Hanji, Levi, Erwin and himself. Even so, he feared for her life in every expedition. He was afraid the day would come when he couldn't protect her.

(ooo)

They finally arrived to the walls. Crossing the gates felt almost like a blessing. The soldiers felt they could breathe again. For some of them it had been their first mission on the outside. Nanaba knew that nothing would ever be the same for them – it had been that way for her back then too. Except that time something much worse had happened.

The commander Erwin Smith took responsibility for his actions in front of his superiors as he also carried humanity's disdain on his shoulders. He crossed the streets in his white horse with a stoic an undaunted face. She admired him because of that, because of all the things he had to endure for humanity's sake.

As soon as they reached the headquarters, Nanaba walked with the wounded into the infirmary, even before she changed her clothes or drank some water. She felt it was her duty, her responsibility.

Mike found her there, one hour after they came back. He was asked to hand his report when they barely arrived so he had had no time to meet her. Night was falling behind the walls, the sun was about to disappear into the horizon. Everyone wanted to erase that day from their memories. He quickly walked into the infirmary, searching for her.

"Nana? Where are you?"

The woman didn't answer because she was in a small adjacent store preparing bandages and other stuff for the wounded. But he knew she was around because over the stench of death and the aseptic smell of medicines he could distinguish her scent of lavender. It was very subtle, light and imperceptible to anyone other than himself. Nanaba smelt of lavender, warmth and safety.

Mike found her in the room and just as he saw her he held her tightly on his arms. She returned the hug in a tender and delicate way she saved only for him.

"Finally Nana, you're safe. I'm sorry it took me this much."

She cut him off his hasty excuses as she softly smiled. She couldn't deny she had been restless like him but she always knew how to hide it.

"I'm fine Mike, you saw me before."

However, she realized something wasn't fine with him. She found an urgent, almost desperate necessity in his hug. It was not like other times but as if he really feared she was going to disappear. The mission had been so hard – she thought it was the reason why.

"You're fine" he repeated. "Oh, thanks to heaven, you're fine. I can't lose you Nana, I can't—

He seemed to be about to cry and it activated Nanaba's alarm signals. Mike Zacharius was a pretty scarce man when showing that kind of emotions. Even though he didn't reach Sergeant Levi's levels (who buried any kind of feeling under the strongest coldness and indifference) he wasn't exactly an open person, either. Not even with her, despite everything they shared. Even more, it was not usual for him to cry – he had other ways to express his sorrow and sadness.

In that moment Mike was tightly grabbing her shoulders. She was tall for a woman and yet he had to bend down to look at her face since he was much taller than her. She gently talked to him, not losing her calm.

"Mike, what did you see?"

It should be something terrible for him, who usually had his emotions under control, to be overflowed by them. In a labored way, sometimes stuttering, he told her about the female titan. He told her how she finished dozens of men off without hesitation, how Erwin's plan, which she was aware of, had failed spectacularly. Nanaba understood the deep and reasonable cause behind his discomfiture. The female titan was, in fact, a human. A person who knew perfectly she was murdering her fellow men with no regrets about it. So she came to understand the gravity of the situation. It was not the same to face wild monsters with certain degree of intelligence but unable of reasoning than people like them. There was enough blood on their hands for it to become a war of humans against humans. It was terrible and oppressive.

She hugged him as if she wanted to share his fear. He put his arms around her waist and pushed his cheek on her blonde, short hair. So he could smell her unique scent of lavender.

"Do you remember what we promised five years ago?"

"Yes. We promised we wouldn't die, we would survive till the end."

"Exactly." She pushed herself back and placed a hand on his shoulder. "And do you remember what you said to me when you were promoted to squad leader?"

"I swore over my sword I would protect you" he answered without hesitation, touching the Survey Corps emblem on the left side of his uniform. "The wings of freedom" he suddenly realized.

"The wings of freedom" she echoed. "We are humanity's hope. I we give up, it will be the end of humanity. We are the only ones who can change things."

Nanaba's blue eyes shone with determination. Mike admired her strength: even after being defeated and learning about a new, very dangerous enemy, she had still faith, an unbreakable faith in humanity, in the Survey Corps, in him. He couldn't turn his back on her now. Five years ago he swore to himself he would be her wings, although he kept that promise as a secret to himself. Somehow he needed to pay back for what her mere presence meant for him. To find Nanaba in the army, in that world, turned the meaning of his fight into something completely different. He was sure he could become a better man only for her.

(ooo)

She didn't allow herself to leave the infirmary till long into the night. There wasn't much to do then. The sick and ill were resting, waiting for the sleep to cure their mutilated bodies and their broken souls. Nanaba went to hand her report to Sergeant Levi because the commander was still gathered with his superiors. She greeted a pair of soldiers in their guard duty on the upper floor and went over the headquarters' corridors towards her room.

In her way she passed by Mike's office. The door was half-closed, which she found strange, so she stopped to take a look. He was leaning on his desk in a weird position. A single candle consumed in the corner of the table, which turned the atmosphere into a gloomy one.

"Mike?" she called with a soft voice.

He suddenly awoke, searching for the voice's origin. His confused face turned into a smiling one when he found out who it belonged to.

"What are you doing working so late?" It should be midnight or later. She moved closer to the desk.

Mike ran a hand through his already messy hair. There were bags under his eyes and he looked tired.

"I'm writing all I've seen today" he explained. "It's not what Erwin's going to tell the upper management but the true suspicions about female titan's identity. This is very important, Nana." He looked her directly into her eyes. "If something happen to any of us this have to serve as a proof for whoever came after us. But it is vital this documents never, ever fall into government hands. Do you understand?"

She simply nodded. She knew Erwin had his reasons to be so reserved and she supported him and trusted all his decisions. He would always choose the most beneficial course of action for humanity, even when the rest wouldn't understand. Even if he had to confront the government. Even if he was called a murderer.

Nanaba put both hands on the desk. They, the soldiers, couldn't afford to waste a moment. They needed to be sure about one thing: if they kept something to themselves maybe they wouldn't have the chance to say it aloud.

"Mike, don't die. If you die I won't be able to carry on."

Somehow she admitted her own weakness by saying that. But it was also a simple, unchanging truth. After all they had gone through it made sense to put things into words. They needed no formalities.

"I won't die, Nana. We're the wings of freedom."

She left him alone so he could finish his work. Mike picked up a document he accidentally dropped and when he was sitting up straight his keen sense of smell get something. An imperceptible scent was hanging in the air. _Lavender._


End file.
